I started a journal

As God was calling us to adopt I felt so close to him.  Things seemed so clear.  I felt so much direction.  I think He needed to be so clear and specific with me in order to kick me in the butt and change my heart.  As God was revealing things to me and calling me to adoption I understood better about how Bible says about Jesus' birth that  "Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."  Now believe me, I'm not likening myself to Mary- no way.  I just like the way the verse phrases it and I felt like I was supposed to treasure up all that was happening so that when I later looked back their could be no forgetting all that God had done and how much He had worked in my heart.

So, I started a journal.  I decided to write a journal of all that was going on in my mind and heart and address it to our future son.  I want him to know, when he is a teenager and questioning his identity and place in this world (as all teenagers do anyway) that there is no mistaking my love for him and how much I want him and how real God's plan for his life is. 

Since I've started this blog I admit I haven't been great about journaling also, but I'm calling myself out and after I finish them I'm going to go and write in it.  I plan on also someday publishing this blog into a book for him- I think- I don't want him to feel like a project or a cause- because he is not- he is just the catalyst that changed my heart and opened my eyes to God's call to take care of the orphan.  That already has added much meaning to my life.