The Holy Grail of Adoption Grants List

Today we mailed off the last of the adoption grant applications.  I believe I applied for eight all together.  The grants range from $500-$4,000 or more accurately $0-$4,000.  Each grant took me 2-4 hours to apply for.  They required: scans from the last two years of tax returns, paycheck stubs, biographies, total financial breakdown and budget, lots of personal questions, pastor's letter of reference, two letters of reference from friends or co-workers, general family info, info about your adoption, proof of your agencies non-profit status, recommendations from our agency.  It was way worse than a college application.  I have ZERO idea if we will receive even one grant.  I feel like we have a ton of stuff against us as far as what they would be looking for.  Our situation is weird and comes less than desireable on an application:

-We already have 3 children.  I think makes us probably less deserving of a grant.

- I work.  Even though I work at night and during the 1-2 hours my kids sleep during the day on a piece of paper it still says I work and I think grant people prefer a stay at home non working mom.

- Our net worth is -$100,00  that's NEGATIVE... our house is so under water because of the market crash that we probably look like the most irresponsible people even though we otherwise have no debt. Who would want to give an interest free loan or grant to that?

- Our pay check stubs we had to send in are from December- one of our most lucrative months between Sam's 3 days of holiday pay and the photography season.  However Jan-March are our slowest months and we probably won't even get a business paycheck this month.  I wish we could explain that.

- We've spent all of our savings on Sam's nursing education (and medical bills from Liam's birth-$15,000 out of pocket even though we had insurance),  he's on his second nursing degree now.  We've been responsible but have nothing to show for it.

-We live in Southwest Florida, with an above average cost of living.  I'm sure our income could buy a steak dinner once a week in Iowa but down here Chick Fil-A is a budget stretcher.  Will the application people take that into consideration? I doubt it.

Sometimes I feel so defeated.  I feel like we try to do everything right but we get stuck in the middle.  It sometimes feels like we would get further ahead if we just stopped working so hard and took advantage of the system.  If I just stopped working would we be taken pity on?  Would I seem more virtuous and mommy like?  Would we get financial scholarships for Sam's school? Would people invite us over to dinner or offer free babysitting?  Sometimes I just want to quit... or at least be heard and seen for who we really are.

Alas, I was so in the depths of despair for a moment that I almost forgot to link to this holy grail of adoption grants list!  This list is amazing.  I spent hours researching grants and loans and couldn't believe how many more were out there once I saw this list.  Thank you so much to Kelley for telling me about this list.  I hope it helps someone else.  http://www.scribd.com/doc/98055414/AdoptionJourney-org-Financial-Resources-List-2012