Breathe in. Breathe out.

Today I'm battling fear.  It's come around me and clenching the breathe out of me.  I'm afraid of the effects of the probable drug and/or alcohol by the impending birth mother of our child.  I'm really afraid of mental illness; Bipolar disease, schizophrenia, depression, the types of things that cause people to act out violently or immorally without understanding what they're doing.  I don't understand and it scares me so much. 

I'm just being honest, I'm freaking out.  Oh me of little faith!  Who is to say that any of my children that are already with me won't have these struggles in the future?  Whose to say we won't be in an accident?  Maybe I'll be the one to have problems.  What I need to remember is that God is bigger than every problem.  God can overcome addiction, genetics, disorders, and diseases.  He will never give us more than we can handle. 

I've been Googling anything and everything about babies born addicted and their long term prognosis... don't do it.  It's silly.  I should be spending that time praying.  What it has shown me though is that I'm not in control of my life or my children's life.  I can only act and react in a Godly way.  I may not be able to heal or cure or prevent something from happening to my child in the future but here are a few things I've decided I could do that might help if our precious child is born drug addicted or with a not so great family health history: I will delay vaccination as to not further overload my baby's nervous system, I will attempt to breast feed (oh yes, this can be done-but probably not easily), I will "wear" or hold the baby more than normal in order to provide constant soothing and to ease stress, I will consider (still need to research more) going to a homeopathic chiropractor for the baby to be adjusted/massaged, lastly, I'm going to try to say "No" more once the baby is born so I don't have to rely on others for child care (I've read it's best to limit the amount of care givers for the baby).  Now that I've written this list I feel like an idiot.  I sound like a first time mom writing a birth plan.... I'm sure nothing will happen like I want and I'll fail at half the list... it's worth trying though-right?

If anyone has any evidence based helpful books, links, research about healing and recovery for babies born addicted or combating a genetic predisposition to mental illness (just in case) I'd love for you to share- no googling- please.